Dreams

It isn't fair that I have to keep having these happy dreams about him just to wake up and know they aren't true. It's as though someone is playing cruel jokes on me just to see how much it'll hurt. Some game.

I'm sure the rest of the day will be as bleak as the fog...

So, I have to go down south tonight... with my dad and cathy... ugh... I don't want to go.

Tomorrow we're going to a craft fair...yippie...

The only good part should be tonight when I get to stay at Mama and Papa's House. But tomorrow night I'm staying at Grandma Audrey's house because they're getting a hotel room.. yippie. He gave me this stupid excuse that because of kathy's hair show on sunday she wants to stay at a hotel to get things ready... I say that's the lamest attempt to cover up the fact that they're horny old people I've ever heard. I think he should stay with Grandma Audrey both nights because even I see her more than he does, and he's her son. He should have more respect.

Anyway, I'm hoping this weekend isn't a total wreck.

Now it really has been a while..

So, I'm checkin' in again. It's been a while. I just wrote in on livejournal too.

I've been kinda pre-occupied with college apps and preview days and mom getting surgery and journey prep and all sorts of stuff, so I've been rather busy (and full of happy)!

Needless to say.. other people are off my mind.. ^^

I have to go do homework now, so I'll talk to you later!

It's been so long...

I'm sorry I haven't been on in such a long time! Things have been so crazy! I haven't been getting any sleep, Jess and I have been helping with VBS Decorations (which is the greatest fun!!!), and my car has gotten in another accident this morning (and I'm feeling so guilty for it! I can't believe it happened)! Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............................

I don't want to go into that.

I wish VBS decorating could last forever!!!

So, now I'm going to go to bed. I'm hoping for a good night's rest...

Oyasumi!!!

Better.

Things are better this morning, other than having an ear infection. I have to go get medicine now, I just thought I'd check in.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being so negative right now, but it's the middle of the night and I need to talk. I'm tired of crying over this person. I'm tired of losing sleep over him. I'm tired of people siding with him or telling me their stories and complaining over them when they still have fun with their friend and they still get to see him or her and they can still smile at eachother. I just want one look. One simple look from him. A glance. Some form of recognition. That's all. I'm going to stop here. I'm going to blog somewhere else, at another site that no one knows about yet. My next post will be happier, I promise. I just need... I need alot of things I can't get from other people I know. They don't understand and there's no way for me to explain because they don't know. They haven't been with us for every moment of our last 9 years together. They don't realize how close we were. They never will.

$1500...

Mom took my car to the shop today... there is $1500 dollars worth of damage to it. Uhhh.

Why do people keep reading my phone messages? That's my new question.

I have to go take a shower and get ready. Talk to y'all later.

06-06-06

So, today was an interesting day... It started out at the dentist office...

I went in and, to my suprise, I have a different dental hygenist.

I now believe she was satan...

We then went to get the other car (the one we're gonna buy on Thursday) and headed over to James' office for him to check it out. Afterwards we went to Westwoods lodge to eat lunch. When we got out we found out that someone had tried to back into a parkingspot in an suv and proceeded to scratch up the entire driver's side of my car.... I wasn't happy... mom wasn't happy... the lady couldn't figure out how she did it...

We got home, too the car to shawn, waited at home, got the car, took it back, and went to the police station because we were told we needed to file a report, which we didn't have to do. I wanted to take pictures so we walked around for a while and once we quite a ways away, it started to rain hard. We stopped at one church, but then decided to go to the presbeterian across the street because it was open and I thought I could get some cool pictures... that was a mistake...

We got in there and saw that there was a service starting, so we decided to stay and listen to it... they started talking about the tortured in foreign countries... then about the war... then about the persecuted Jews and Gays and Lesbians... then we realized that we were the only straight people there... so we left when we could no longer hold in our laughter (not offensively, but it was just so serious and weird at the same time)...

When we got ouside mom realized she lost my keys...

Luckily they were on the steps of the first church we were at, but there was a news crew there... and one of them was in a scottish kilt...

So we got back to my car and went around taking more photos and we went to the wing zone (there were some weird people there too) and then we went to cold stone ice cream (which is AWESOME) and once we got out we heard this lady go (about her daughter) "She's eating paper, Eric!" and he went "Well I didn't feed it to her!". With the mood mom and I were on we just started cracking up!

Now were home... watching Shakira videos... it's crazy...

I guess I'll talk to y'all later!!!! Hope everyone else had good days!

Hi

I'm getting ready to go to the dentist (... *gag* ...), but it's ok. I'm glad it's not the orthodontist!

Mom should be getting her new car today! She says it's a really nasty color... I hope it's not as bad as she says. But there's no radio because it was broken in to. It's a really nice car and it's been sitting in the impound for the last 8 years, so it should be in pretty good condition!

I guess I should go finnish getting ready... but I'm gonna leave you with a few last thoughts...